Awkward Office Situations

I’m not referring to the look you see on the face of the Girl With No Sense of Humor after a funny but borderline joke (right before she says something like “I find that offensive”), but another situation entirely.

Considered from two perspectives, and I’ve yet to figure out which is more awkward:

A walks into the men’s room. Already in the room, in the stall, is B.

That’s it.

See, if I’m B, I wait until I hear the door close after A’s left. Doesn’t matter if I’m done and ready to leave. I wait. There is no way I am letting A know that it’s me. He can guess all he wants. But there is no way I’m letting him see my face, particularly if I’ve had a good “session.”

However, some people have no issue with that. They’ll go about it. And then when I’m A, I can only hope that B has the same sensibilities that I do. Except sometimes he won’t. Sometimes, we’ll meet at the sinks. And sometimes, he’ll say something like, “Hey, Noy G,” at which point I will have to make awkward, I-know-that-smell-was-you, chit-chat.

The only thing worse: being B, when A has to do more than just pee. Then tried to open your door. And you have to say, “uh, yeah” (and think the whole time CHECK FOR SHOES!!). And then he sidecar’s you. (Sidecar: to use the stall next to an occupied stall.)

Of course, the worst happened to a friend of mine: He was B. His boss, A. His boss, came in, sat in the stall next to him, and started conversation. Worse yet, what he said, “Hey, Danny, I guess I’ll just have to fight fire with fire.”

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