Hi, we don’t know each other well; in fact we don’t know each other at all. However, this morning on my way to work you managed to fill me with rage and anger without even introducing yourself properly. It usually takes people in school a week or two of talking to piss me off that much yet you managed to do it in 2 seconds. Congratulations, I want to kill you.
I woke up in a pretty good mood this morning as I do most mornings. I got dressed and ready for work as always. It was raining, which for some reason contrary to the norm, I enjoy. As I was driving to work you sped up on my left, gave a quick look of disparagement at my car, and in a split second decided that where you are going is significantly more important than where I am going. In fact, you decided that your entire existence is more important than mine. You reminded me of an overpaid athlete who decides his time is too important to squander 5 minutes signing a free autograph for a 10 year old who idolizes him.
You are like a CEO of a big company who thinks that because his bank account is worth more, somehow his being is worth more as well. It does not work like that, Sir. We are all the same, you do not intimidate me. Simply because you drive a BMW and I drive a Honda, does not mean that your car gets to go first. I am in the same rush to get somewhere as you, but I did not throw out common decency and social responsibility to get there. You did.
That is why you are lying in a ditch on the side of the road right now and I am pinning this letter to your shirt. This way, in about 2 hours when you wake up severely beaten and not quite clear on how you got all the way to North Carolina when you remember being on your way to work in NYC, you will have a reminder. Don’t thank me I’m just trying to help. Oh, one more thing before I start writing the letter to your family about why you might be “out of town” for a few days – your car – yeah…sorry about that, he didn’t make the trip. I will give you a word of advice on how to get back home though, especially since you no longer have any cash or credit cards – WALK PUTZ! Because you’re too stupid and narcissistic to drive! Have a nice day…