Look Who’s Full of Himself

And no, I don’t mean me.

There was a time that I liked David Ortiz. I appreciated his clutch hitting and respected his ability.

Now, he’s just a pain in the ass. He’s such a wussy whiner about the stupid MVP. See, he got beat out last year by A-Rod who had similar stats (numbers-wise) but also plays defense, which got him a bump. So, this season, with A-Rod out of the picture, Ortiz figured he was golden. And, early in the season, he was. But now there’s another problem. The Red Sox suck. They’ve fallen so far out of the playoff picture as to be virtually out of contention. And this is a problem, see, because MVP voters are historically even more biased toward playoff teams than to position players. You have to be remarkably better and more valuable to your team than the nearest competitor to win the MVP (just ask Mark McGwire. He set records in 1998, but because Chicago finished 6.5 games ahead of St. Louis and won the wild card to get into the playoffs, Slammin’ Sammy Sosa won the MVP.) So what’s Ortiz doing? Instead of keeping his big (steroid-enhanced) mouth shut, he’s stumping for himself in the MVP race before the season is even over!

Now, aside from the fact that it is completely classless to publicly espouse your own virtues, and even worse to explicitly say that you deserve the MVP award because your numbers are just that much better than everyone else’s, he had to go call out The Captain in the process. What an ass. At any point did Derek Jeter suggest that he should be the MVP (no! of course not! Jeter’s a class act); so does Little Mami feel the need to call him out? I mean, take a look at this quote:

“I’ll tell you one thing,” Ortiz said. “If I get 50 home runs and 10 more RBI [which would give him 137], that’s going to be a round number that no one else in the American League will have.” “But they’ll vote for a position player, use that as an excuse. They’re talking about Jeter a lot, right? He’s done a great job, he’s having a great season, but Jeter is not a 40-homer hitter or an RBI guy. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve done for your ball club, the bottom line is, the guy who hits 40 home runs and knocks in 100, that’s the guy you know helped your team win games. Don’t get me wrong — he’s a great player, having a great season, but he’s got a lot of guys in that lineup,” Ortiz continued. “Top to bottom, you’ve got a guy who can hurt you. Come hit in this lineup, see how good you can be.”


“I’m right there,” he said, “but I’m not going to win it. They give it to [Rodriguez] one year, even though his team was in last place, so now they can’t play that BS anymore, just because your team didn’t make it. They gave it to Alex that year because of his numbers. But they always have a reason to vote for whatever, so that’s why I don’t worry about it.”

OK, let’s break this stupidity down, bit by idiotic bit: (1) Let’s neglect everything but the numbers in an MVP race, because that’s what matters, OK? As opposed to last year, when being clutch and leading your team to wins mattered. See, there was this memo that changed the judging criteria. It was called the “David Ortiz has to bitch about Something” Memo. (2)They’ll vote for a position player? How about someone who’s in the race for the batting title, closing in on 100-RBI despite batting second pretty much all season (see yesterday’s game for what he could do batting 3rd: 4 RBI) and who carried his team when two of his top sluggers went down? Know anybody like that? He plays for the team that swept your fat ass out of playoff contention back in August. You want to be the MVP? Get your team to the playoffs. Dumbass. (3) Uh, does the guy who’s got the best pure hitter of his generation batting behind him all season really want to play the “lineup” card? Really? You don’t think anyone else’s numbers might be inflated with Manny behind him? Shmuck. (4) Yes, in 2003, when the only contender from a playoff team was Jorge Posada (who finished 3rd in the voting, and only because he was from a playoff team) A-Rod beat out Carlos Delgado who had similar numbers. Of course, now that’s it’s happened once (that there was a non-playoff MVP) in an abberant year, that of course means that the entire process has to change. Idiot. (5) And finally, there this gem: “that’s why I don’t worry about it.” See, this whole article, this whole rant, mid-season while my team circles the drain of the AL East (soon to be overtaken by the Blue Jays for second place) this is me not caring. The whole MVP thing is irrelevant, as long as we win. Oh.

Ortiz is such a classless putz. I hope anyone else besides him wins the AL MVP now. Even if Jeter doesn’t win it (and don’t construe this post as advocating Jeter for MVP, because I’m not sure about that), there are plenty of other players who, even though they haven’t hit 50 meaningless HR’s, carried their team to the playoffs. Like Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau or Jermaine Dye. Or Derek Jeter.

Which, of course, as it always does, ignore perhaps the Most Valuable Player of the last decade: Mariano Rivera.


2 responses to “Look Who’s Full of Himself

  1. Amen.

    And by the way, I spent half the article screaming to myself what you finally hit in the last line…. Mariano.

    How this guy has not won a Cy Young and/or and MVP multiple times is amazing. It’s like he’s so good that it’s become expected and therefore he can never win. His own godliness actually hurts him. And here’s the great part about that – he couldn’t give a crap, as long as the Yanks win. And that is why I want to have his baby. There, I said it!

  2. I agree with everything you’re sayihnhg but you cannot deny Ortiz’s abilities. I stil say Jeter should win it because it is much harder to do what he does at the plate while playing an amazing shortstop.

    Happy B-day by the way.


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